I don’t often write personal posts on here, the last being the one about dressing my size (which, embarrassingly enough, got 10x more clicks than any other post), because vulnerability is hard and I also don’t want my personal thoughts and beliefs to turn you off from saving the world through less waste. But today, I’m going to diverge from that and be a little more open with you. Partly because I told you I was going to have more bulk gifts to make and that isn’t happening right now.

This past week, a dear, lifelong family friend passed away extremely unexpectedly and I have been struggling with processing it. I have cried almost everyday since, enjoyed memories, cried out in frustration to God, talked with her husband on the phone, grieved that I can’t be home to properly mourn with those who loved her, read sweet words that so many people have expressed about her on social media, and cried some more. I’m struggling with processing her death more than with most others I have experienced.

Andrew’s grandma gave us bags full of end-of-season apples from her tree when we visited at Thanksgiving. It occurred to me as I was slicing, boiling, salting and sweetening them that, through his grace, God makes all things good. Here are apples that no one wants to bite into but with some cutting away, heat, time, and care, they transform into a delicious sauce that as the first drop slides onto your tongue, you say with delight, “this is so good!”

I continue to grieve and mourn my friend’s death and I know that I will for many years to come but as I cry, and shake my fist, I am thankful that God sends reminders of his goodness even when none of it makes sense.

I will leave you with these lyrics from an old song by Caedmon’s Call that has been running over and over in my head.

He makes all things good
He makes all things good
There’s a time to live and a time to die
A time for wonder and to wonder why
Cause there is a reason
There is a reason

I hope to be back soon with a more season appropriate post. Thank you for reading with me.