“We can’t, Emily. We don’t have the money for that.”

“Here. Take it. It’s my last dollar. That’s all I have. I literally have no more dollars.”

“Your dad gets paid on Friday, you will need to wait until then.”

These are statements I heard often growing up as a child and even if they, as my mom was quick to tell me, “build character,” I swore I would always have enough money to never have to say these things to my children. And of course, as life often comes back to bite you in the butt, as a family of soon-to-be-5 living on one public servant income, I have found myself saying these same things to my daughter. However, I’m learning one of the great things about living less waste is that you can use your strapped-for-money scenario to put an environmentally positive spin on things and further build that blasted “character” my mom would annoyingly refer to.

Not having the means to purchase that throw pillow at Homegoods, that candy bar from the grocery, that one more kitchen appliance at Target, that tool at Lowe’s, that meat from the butcher, that top from J Crew, that toy from Walmart, etc. doesn’t have to be viewed as a bad thing. Instead, look at it as a way to keep your material waste in check. When Lucy asks for something that we can’t afford, instead of just saying, “we don’t have the money for that,” I have started adding “and you know what? If we bought that, it would create more trash that someday a bird or fish might eat a part of it and get sick, stuck or die and we don’t want to be the cause of that.” Or something along those lines. Whether you are saying that to a child or yourself, it does not take away the sting of not having the finances for something but it does give it more power and a bigger lens than, “woe is us.”

Here are some things that are helping me as our budget continues to grow tighter:

• Feel free to enjoy looking at design blogs or tool catalogs or whatever it is that brings you joy BUT instead of going online to immediately order what you see, set up “search saves” on Craigslist, eBay, and Facebook marketplace and wait for used items to come up for sale. eBay is great for this with clothing. You can get really specific about a piece you want and sooner than you think, it will pop up in your email and hopefully at a price you can afford.
• Look at not buying stuff as a way of practicing self restraint. Being able to show self control is something that makes us better human beings. This is a good exercise to better ourselves.
• When you find yourself refusing a material want to a child (be it for financial reasons or solely environmental reasons), use it as an opportunity to share with them how the refusal is keeping trash out of the landfill and how the birds and fish and trees are benefiting from it.
• Then follow that along with an alternative, such as “but we can make cookies at home.” Or “instead, let’s go through the house and see if we can find something similar we have forgotten about” Or “I will add that to my thrift store list and keep my eyes peeled for it.”
• Challenge yourself to get creative with what you already have. Figure out ways you can reuse and repurpose items sitting around your house. If you ever get the privilege to spend time in a country that has less money than America, you will understand why the people there are more resourceful than we are. When you have less, you quickly learn to use what you have. There can be such a deep satisfaction and pride in this.
• See it as an opportunity for a lifestyle change. We can only afford humanely treated meat for 1 or 2 meals a week anymore so instead of compromising my morals and buying cheap meat, I’ve had to change our diet to incorporate vegetarian meals into the remaining slots. I mourned this in the beginning but now I see the positive environmental impact of eating this way and use that as my motivation.

As much as I never wanted to do it, I am seeing the positives that can come from not having the means for instant gratification. It still hurts in some ways but choosing to put a positive less waste spin on it helps.